okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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