Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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