just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
