I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
