I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
