You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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