You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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