i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
