Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
