Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
