Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
