When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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