Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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