just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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