it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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