smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
