so explain again why im purple
no
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
