Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i would punch a child for taco bell
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
