she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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