You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize