Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
