I am puke
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i dont even know how to be here
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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