Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
