I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
