One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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