So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
