Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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