1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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