The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
