So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
