Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
