do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
