I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize