I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I lost the right to judge tonight
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
