Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
