Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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