Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
