That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
