I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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