Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
