i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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