Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
