Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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