She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
