i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I stole a fireplace last night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
