i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We are all done wearing pants today
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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