Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
