May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
