It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
