Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
