So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
