I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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