I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Panties = found
Randomize
