i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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