I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
tell me about the fingering
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
