who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Your dad touched me again.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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