It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
