My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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