Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
