He disabled his match.com account in front of me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
