he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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