I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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