i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
