After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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