He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
it was like eating out sand paper
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
