dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
