I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
