Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
