You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
