She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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