If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
