Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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